Defeating the De-Motivator

The sweet strains of a Puccini aria cut through the Saturday night
clatter of the busy Italian restaurant in New York City, but it
wasn’t coming from the aging voice of the Sicilian baritone who was
hired to belt out favorites like Funiculi-Funicula. It was a soprano
whose crystal clear voice filled the room. Within moments all the
ambient noise came to a halt. Diners stopped eating and talking,
busboys stopped clearing tables, the cooks even came out of the
kitchen.

Singing on the tiny stage was the skinny moon-faced waitress from
Ohio. The Sicilian heard she studied opera, so he invited her to join
him, but what began as a duet ended in solo as he too was mesmerized
by the beauty of her voice. When she finished, the place thundered in
applause and I saw tears of gratitude glistening in her eyes. She had
hit each note perfectly.

If only she had done that when she auditioned for the Metropolitan
Opera. But she choked, flinched, allowed a seed of doubt to creep
into her consciousness and thus her voice.

She told me her story over a couple of beers after work. It was the
fall of 1984, and I was a fellow waiter at the restaurant; just
another struggling artist in the city that never sleeps. She
explained that she got nervous during her audition and couldn’t hit
the high notes. She would get one more chance to audition, but she
would have to wait an entire year.

I never found out if she made it; as a writer my art is portable and
a few months later I moved to a city where they still have a bedtime.
I suspect she did, because that night she received a proof - a vital
beginning step.

Doubt is a silent killer. We transmit feelings of doubt to others
through subtleties in our body language, facial expression and tone
of voice. It is picked up subconsciously by those with whom we
communicate. Worse than that, we communicate it to ourselves, and it
seeps into our performance. Doubt is the De-Motivator and all too
often it prevents us from even trying.

We all suffer doubt occasionally, and its cure is always the same:
proof. Proof that we are indeed talented enough to do what we set
out to do. A proof doesn’t need to be big to eliminate doubt. A
series of little ones can be just as effective.

I keep a journal - a log - of accomplishments. Both small and large,
because they all add up to reasons for believing in my abilities. It
is especially important to log the little ones, because they are so
easy to forget or overlook, and yet they carry tremendous weight when
it comes to giving ourselves confidence.

You say, “ I’m just starting out and have no accomplishments.” That
just means you’re not looking in the right places. We all have
successes, some of them may be found in different areas of your life.
I often read in the Wall Street Journal about women, who after years
as stay-at-home Moms, return to the work force in well-paid
management positions. They acquire these jobs by citing in their
resumes the many skills and achievements they learned through their
volunteer work. What talents are you racking up through your hobbies
and leisure activities?

Sometimes proof comes to us by comparing ourselves to others. Simply
ask yourself, “Out of all the people who have ever lived, how many
have attained what I want?” The sheer numbers alone will often be
all the proof you need.

When all else fails, fall back on faith. Some of the most successful
people in the world had absolutely no proof that they could achieve
their dreams. All they had was a strong desire and a belief in
themselves. As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Take the first
step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take
the first step.”

Source: Robert Evans Wilson, Jr. is a motivational speaker and humorist. He
works with companies that want to be more competitive and with people
who want to think like innovators. For more information on Robert's
programs please visit www.jumpstartyourmeeting.com.